March Fools
by McMuffinDragon
Summary: Office AU. Arthur, who had only experienced the horrors of Alfred's April Fools twice, was already sick of this. He spent half the month of March trying to plan how to get him back. Hilarity ensues.


If there was one day of the year that Alfred enjoyed more than the Fourth of July, it had to be April Fool's Day. He'd played jokes on everyone, including his step brother Matthiew who'd suffered for years. Arthur, who had only experienced the horrors of Alfred's April Fools twice, was already sick of this. He spent half the month of March trying to plan how to get him back; the idea occurred to him when he was invited to the brothers' flat to watch hockey playoffs.

---

"That had to hurt." Arthur muttered, though it could barely be heard over Matthew shouting for a man to be given a penalty, in spite of the fact that he was a timezone away and had no effect on the outcome of the game.

"Matt, can you sit down?" Alfred laughed as he grabbed the back of his brother's hockey jersey and pulled him back to flop onto the couch, almost slipping the beer in his hand. "You're getting way too worked up; it's just a game."

"Says the man who punched a whole in the wall when he found out Tom Brady was out for the season." Matthiew snapped back, pushing his glasses up on his nose.

"Football is completely different," Alfred was quick to defend his sport, "That completely screwed the team for the whole season. They didn't even make it to the Superbowl."

"Oh, God forbid somebody else gets a chance to win--" It was at this point that Arthur put his beer down on the coffee table and slipped off into the hallway. Just before reaching the bathroom, Arthur glanced through an open doorway into a bedroom that looked like it belonged to a teen aged boy. Alfred's room, the Briton immediately knew. Arthur turned his gaze to find a dartboard directly next to his head and beside that a calendar. The gears in his brain began to turn and the corner of his mouth twitched up with them.

---

"Did you fall in?" Alfred chuckled when Arthur came back to the living room.

"You're so witty, it hurts." The elder man deadpanned before walking to the door and grabbing his coat. "I'd better be going."

"What?" Matthew shouted at him, though his gaze remained on the television, and his fist occasionally punched the air. "But the third period just started. You _can't_ leave n--go! Go! Yes!" He jumped from the couch and the bowl of chips that had been in his lap wound up spilled on the carpet.

"Calm the fuck down, Matt." Alfred muttered before turning to look at Arthur with a bemused expression, "Guess we'll see you tomorrow then." Arthur nodded and left the apartment.

---

Arthur strode to the door of his flat, teacup in hand, tie hanging undone around his neck. A somber faced Alfred with a bundle of blankets in his arms greeted him upon opening the door. "Arty," The young man croaked. The Briton cocked an eyebrow. "I found something this morning that I think you should see."

"What is it?" Arthur sighed, setting his tea down on the small table by the door.

"I-I think it's a dead fairy," He murmured, holding out the bundle for Arthur to take. "I thought I should ask you though."

"Are you serious?" Arthur reached out and took the bundle, gingerly he lifted the blankets away and found a G.I. Joe underneath holding a card with **APRIL FOOLS!!!** written on it. Alfred was practically rolling in the hall. "You prick!" He shouted, throwing the action figure, blankets and all in Alfred's face.

"You shoulda seen your face!" Alfred wheezed, gathering up the bundle, "Ah, you ready to go?"

"Yeah," Arthur grumbled, "Hold on a minute." He had to hand it to Alfred coming up with a gag that quickly, at least he'd been pranked already. Smirking to himself as he did up his tie, Arthur thought of how the rest of the day would go, something profoundly stupid would no doubt come around.

"C'mon, c'mon, I'm not gonna wait all day." Alfred whined, leaning against the door frame.

"Yes, 'm coming." Arthur closed the door and followed down the hall.

Parked on the street was Alfred's silver sedan; Arthur had asked numerous times why he owned a car when the city had a perfectly adequate public transport system. He usually received an answer along the lines of 'Because this is America, you ignorant limey.' Arthur nodded in return to the smile Matthew flashed him from the passenger seat. He ducked into the back seat; Alfred's car was usually a mess with burger wrappers and such but now it was filled with miscellaneous items that made Arthur raise his eyebrows. "Whot's all this?" He asked, moving aside a wireless keyboard.

"C'mon, Arty," Alfred chuckled as he started the car and pulled away from the curb, "You know what day it is."

"Oh, right," He murmured, "So you'll be needin' all this then."

"And someone to help. Whadya say, Matt?"

"Hold on a second," Matthew spoke in a weary voice, "You told me last year that my days of having to help you were over, and besides, it's n-"

"Fine be that way," Alfred cut his brother off and stopping at a red light, "How 'bout you, Arty?"

"Ah, well, I-"

"Great, this'll be so awesome."

---

Arthur sat at his desk and started up his computer. Working at Globocorp was just about the most mind-numbing activity ever. It was challenging to pin down exactly _what_ the company did; they had offices all over the world and seemed to do and make just about everything. If asked what he did, Arthur found he couldn't give a real answer; he simply worked in programming, exactly what that entailed varied from day to day. The only interesting thing about it was the people in the office. Just as he was opening his e-mail to see a message from Kiku in engineering. He opened it, but before he even got past _Dear Mr. Kirkland_, something interrupted him.

"Hey, Arty." Alfred hissed from the entrance to his cubicle.

"Whot's it, Alfred?" He turned his chair around to glare at the younger man. It was a long way from Alfred's office in the Public Relations department down to programming.

"C'mere, I want you to see something." With a sigh, Arthur got up and followed. Alfred went and sat in an empty cubicle with a view of one of the offices. Gruff laughter slipped through the gray walls as Seamus approached his door. He stepped inside, Arthur could see him stiffen, then the Irishman ran from the room and down the hall screaming, "Snakes! Fucking Snakes!"

Alfred was practically rolling on the floor with tears in his eyes. "April Fools!" He managed to shout down the hall. "Oh, that was priceless."

"Y'put snakes in his office?" Arthur tried to hide the dark chuckling that wanted to come out of his mouth at the sight of Seamus, and he just kept thinking of what would happen to Alfred later when he found out what day it really was. Laughter became harder and harder to keep away. "Y'know he's terrified of them."

"They're just plastic ones," Alfred sighed, spinning around in the chair, "They can't hurt anyone."

Before Arthur could reply, There was a shout of a few French expletives in the next cubicle. Francis peered over the wall, "Excusez moi," He spoke in a tone hinting that he was trying to reign in his anger, "Do you eizer know who put snails on my keeboard?" Alfred snickered by Arthur's elbow.

"April Fools!" He shouted, pointing a finger in the Frenchman's face. Francis simply stared back with a rather confused look.

"Zat iz not funnee." He murmured looking back at this mollusk covered keyboard, "And bezides, today iz--"

"Oh, look at the time!" Arthur shouted, looking at his wrist with no watch on it, "Alfred, don' we 'ave somethin' we need t' do?"

"Oh, yeah," Alfred beamed, jumping up and pulling Arthur away. The Briton sighed, he didn't want this to be blown quite yet. The two of them rushed to Alfred's cubicle where he reached under the desk and took out a bucket. "I need you to go fill this with water," He grinned, handing it to Arthur, "And meet me at Roderich's office." Before Arthur could ask any questions, Alfred was skipping down the aisle of cubicles in the direction of the Sales director's office.

---  
"Alright," Arthur heaved, pushing the door open with his shoulder, "I go' the water." He'd feared the whole way over that the handle would snap and the bucket would spill.

The Sales department was on the other side of the building, and Globocorp had a _big _building; there were parts that Arthur had never even seen.

"Great, right on time," Alfred took the bucket, "Hold the chair so I can stand on it." He nodded to the high backed black leather chair on the other side of the door. Arthur did so and Alfred almost closed the door all the way, but balanced the water on the small bit of door he felt exposed and jumped down.

"Well, tha's just smashing." Arthur muttered, how are we supposed to get out?" Alfred slowly realized that this did put them in a difficult position, he almost began to panic when the unmistakable Austrian's voice could be heard down the hall.

"Uh, hide under the desk." He barked, pushing Arthur along while rolling the chair behind him. They both ducked as Roderich came to the door.

"Yes, that is very strange, Francis," He murmured on the other side, "but I don't have a spare keyboard, you'll have to ask someone else." Francis gave an inaudible reply. "Good luck with that." Then there was the sound of the door opening, a tremendous splash, and a shout of "Mein Gott!"

Alfred scrambled out from under the desk, dragging Arthur with him and they ran toward the doorway, past Roderich who was rubbing where the bucket had fallen on his head. His quite a bargain, new silk suit was dripping wet. "April Fools!" Alfred chortled, picking up speed once in the hall. As Arthur stumbled after him, he could hear Roderich yell, "Morons!"

Around the corner, Alfred slowed to a stop and tried to catch his breath while laughing, which proved somewhat challenging.

"Now what?" Arthur panted, leaning against the wall. He half hoped Alfred would let him go; he didn't really want to do any programming today but running about with this thickie wasn't much better.

"Well," Alfred wheezed, doubled over leaning on his knees, "You're friends with Honda right?"

"In engineering?" Arthur, raised his eyebrows, hoping Alfred didn't want to pull anything on him because it wouldn't go over well, he was sure. "A bit, yes."

"Good, good." Alfred took a roll of tape from his pocket and handed it over, "Go tape down the hook on his phone before nine on the dot." Arthur took the tape; he didn't actually know where the engineering department was located.

---  
Arthur knocked on the closed door of the head of Engineering; he could hear machines running behind other doors as well as shouting. There came a punctual, muffled reply, "Please, Enter." He pushed open the door to see Kiku folding up the blue prints splayed out on his table of a desk. "Ah, Mister Kirkland," Arthur was greeted with a small bow, "I see you received my message."

"Uh, yeah," Arthur blatantly lied as he'd been dragged away before reading more than the first line.

"Then we shall proceed with my request," He picked up the blueprints from the table and put them on a shelf, then began looking for something. Arthur flipped open his cell phone. 8:58. He softly lifted the receiver on the table's desk phone and laid a piece of tape on the hook. "Ludwig spoke with me," Kiku returned with a large binder, opened it and began flipping through smaller blue prints, "about putting new navigation in the latest models. I need to review with you the software involved in such a matter." The phone rang. "Excuse me, please. Hello, Honda Kiku spe-" The phone rang again. Kiku looked at the receiver in this hand, then at the phone base, "Tape?" He murmured, spotting the hook. Then Alfred's tinny voice crackled through the speaker.

"Ha ha ha, April Fools!" Then a click as Alfred hung up.

"Does he know that today is the 31st of March?" Kiku asked Arthur as he set the receiver down. There was a crash somewhere down the hall. Kiku rushed from the room and offhandedly spoke to Arthur, "We'll have to continue this at another time." Arthur took his chance to leave once Kiku was gone.

---  
"Oh no," Matthew murmured with his head in his hand, the phone in his hand shook, "Do they think he'll be okay."

"I don't know," Alfred replied gravely, trying not to laugh, "They say there's a fifty fifty chance Arthur might not make it." The real Arthur walked briskly down the hall of the marketing department to get back to his desk.

"That's terrible," Matthew choked, clutching his chest. Arthur stopped at the sound of his friend's distraught voice inside one of the cubicles and poked his head in.

"Everythin' a'right, Matt?" He asked. The Canadian jumped a foot in the air and looked first like he'd seen a ghost and second like he would throttle his brother, then promptly hung up the phone.

"No, I'm fine," He half growled half sighed in response.

---  
"Alfred, listen to me," Arthur pleaded as the addressed proceeded to write 'April Fools' on a sticky note and put it on the bottom of his coworker Toris' mouse.

"I _am_ listening," He said brightly, setting the mouse down, "I just don't think it's very fair of you to abandon me now, when there's still so much left to be done."

"Okay, fine, I'll help you with one more of these asinine pranks, but that's it."

"Great," Alfred beamed, "Go get our Swedish corespondent."

---  
"Ahem, so we're running s'me tests on a new voice recognition software," Arthur explained pulling up a chair at the conference room table and positioning the microphone, "We need people of many vocal varieties to tweak it. I was wondering if you'd be willing to say a few things for me." There was a projector pointing at the far wall with a window for a word processor open.

"Mm'hm," Berwald grunted as he sat and bent close to the mic, "H'llo, 'm B'rwald. 'M fr'm Swed'n, 'nd I w'rk fer G'lb'corp."

On the screen appeared only: bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork

Arthur promptly face palmed; Berwald opened his mouth to say something until the message **Hahaha April Fools! **was typed out.

"I'm so sorry." Arthur mumbled, trying to get in an explanation before Alfred barged in laughing.

"'S 'kay." Berwald nodded back tersely, "But t'day isn't--"

"I know."

---  
After this, Alfred vanished for a while and let Arthur be. Arthur was almost concerned for what might happen when he wasn't watching, but then again Alfred wasn't out to hit anyone, except Roderich who'd gotten a fair sized bump on his head. He stepped into the break room on his floor to find Francis, Elizaveta, and Roderich, who held an icepack against his head, talking by the water cooler.

"When I got here," Elizaveta sighed, "All the furniture in my office was changed around."

"Zis iz outragous." Francis muttered, Roderich and Elizaveta nodded in response, "Zomeone could be seeriously eenjured."

"Are you talking about Alfred?" Arthur asked, fishing a box of teabags out of the cabinet.

"Oh, hallo, Arthur," Roderich chimed, all three changed their demeanor immediately, "No, no, we were just talking about football."

"Uh huh," Arthur murmured, crossing to the water cooler in between them to get hot water. Tino walked in and headed for the fridge as Arthur said, "Well, _football_ should be over soon; it's almost noon."

"What's this?" Tino muttered, closing the fridge door, a Tupperware container in his hands with a note on the top, "For Tino, from Alfred," He cracked open the lid and smiled, "Wow, it's mämmi," The Finn reached into a drawer and fished out a plastic spoon, "and it's not even Easter." He practically skipped from the room; Arthur caught sight of something that looked suspiciously like mud and considering what day Alfred thought it was...

"Wait, Tino!" Arthur shouted, running from the break room, "Don' eat that!"

"Zey are sleeping togezer, you know." Francis said once Arthur was gone.

"Are they really?" Roderich breathed, leaning against the counter, "How peculiar."

---

Meanwhile, Alfred took his chance to mess with the interns. He walked into the conference room where Eduard and Raivis were putting together reports for the start of the third quarter meeting next week. "Hey Eddie," He called as the Estonian pulled down the lever on the comb binder.

"Hi, Mister Jones," Eduard replied brightly, pretending that he liked being called Eddie, "We're almost done here."

"Forget those, Eddie, I've got another job for you." Alfred slammed a hand down on a finished stack of reports.

"B-But, we have to finish these for Mister Braginski." Raivis said softly, putting his red stapler down.

"I wasn't talking to you, Randy." Alfred said boldly. Raivis and Eduard shared a knowing glance. "Eddie, I need you to run an errand for me."

"Um, okay, what do you need? Coffee?"

"Not quite, though that would be nice." Alfred put his arm around the young man who looked over at his meek friend asking him to say something. Raivis started stapling again to give his fidgeting hands something to do. "I need you to go find me a scanning, faxing, collating, copier machine."

"I'm pretty sure we have all of those things in the building." Eduard stated, glancing over at Raivis again for an affirmative to his statement. The younger looked to the left and right, hoping that someone who wasn't there would answer for him, before nodding.

"No, no," Alfred boasted, shaking Eduard's shoulders and skewing his glasses, "I'm looking for one machine that does all those things. Go find me one."

"Uh, alright, Mister Jones," Eduard mumbled, fixing his glasses and being led to the door. He managed to wave goodbye to Raivis who was growing rapidly paler by the second at the prospect of being left alone.

"Good man," Alfred cheered, "You're an asset to this organization, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise, alright." Eduard nodded mutely with a polite smile before heading off for the elevators.

As Alfred headed back to his office, he was confronted by the large suited form of the regional manager. "Hello Alfred," Ivan grinned.

"Mornin' Ivan." Alfred grinned before trying to get around him, quickly finding that he took up more than half of the narrow hall, "Um, could I just--"

"I could not help but noticing you take away one of my interns." Ivan went on in a perfectly calm tone with a slight I-could-fire-you-in-a-heartbeat edge.

"They work for the _company_, Ivan," Alfred pointed out, either ignoring the friendly threat or missing it completely, "They're not _yours_. I needed something done, so I sent Eddie to do it. I'm sure he won't be gone all day." He had to try to hide the smile he got when he thought about his practical joking.

"Ah, then," Ivan's eye narrowed, but his voice never betrayed what he really thought, "That is fine and good; you will _all_ work for me someday soon." He stepped slightly to the side and let Alfred pass.

"That's the spirit, Ivan," Alfred chuckled, "Keep climbing that corporate ladder." He continued down the hall, whistling.

Ivan entered the conference room where Raivis was feverishly working to make up for Eduard leaving. "Hello Raivis." The young man jumped out of his skin and shook an 8.5 on the Richter Scale. He tried to reply with 'Hello Mister Braginsky' and 'I'm working as fast as I can' and 'I don't know where Eduard went' and 'Please don't kill me' all at the same time. None of them got past the first syllable. "You are working very hard, I see." Raivis' attempted response consisted of 'Thank you, sir' and 'I'm doing my best' and 'Please don't kill me' but once again was unsuccessful. "But I have to ask you to stay late this evening," Ivan's eyes fell on the red stapler sitting defenseless on the tabletop; he picked it up and put it in his coat pocket. "To make up for your friend leaving early." He left the room with the same cool demeanor.

Raivis stared at the space where his stapler had been, "H-He took m-my stapler," He muttered to the empty room, "I-I-I'll burn down the-the b-building."

---

Alfred strode into the break room and made a beeline for the fridge. Tino stopped talking and both of them glared at Alfred's back as he took something out of the freezer and rushed from the room.

Down at the sales department, Reynir had finally closed a very important account with a Greek company and was walking their representative to the foyer on the first floor. The other man wore a light suit with many colors of cat hair covering it. Unbeknownst to both of them, Alfred crept along behind them with a bucket of ice in his hands.

"I'm very glad we could reach an agreement, Mister Karpusi." Reynir stated as they approached the elevators. The elder man nodded with a polite smile.

"A little touch of home, Rainey!" Alfred shouted, throwing the ice on the two of them, "April Fools!" Reynir stood, shaking with fury as Alfred jolted back down the hall. This turned into a shiver as an ice cube slipped down his back.

"April Fools?" Heracles echoed, looking down at the ice littering the floor, "Is this a congratulatory custom?"

---

Arthur sat at his desk, trying to massage away the migraine forming around his eyebrows.

"Hey, Arty," Alfred chimed as he came to stand in the entrance to Arthur's cubicle, "I need you to--"

"No!" Arthur snapped, wheeling around to glare at Alfred, "I've had quite enough of your stupid jokes, you bloody git!" There was a shout from across the room, both men ran to the source. Wang stood next to his desk with a heaping glob of yellow gelatin on it. Suspended inside were a calculator, a stapler, a wireless computer mouse and a panda figurine.

"What is happened?" Toris asked, looking over the all that separated them; Arthur glared at Alfred; this had to be his doing. Several other employees were crowding behind them and peeking over the walls trying to get a look.

"Someone put my things in jello." Wang lamented, digging through the dessert and extracting his panda with a little frown, "This is no way to treat the assistant regional manager."

"To be fair," Alfred pointed out, "You're the assistant to the regional m-OW!" Arthur stomped on the taller man's foot to shut his mouth. "Ah ha, I mean, April Fools!"

"I need to talk to you." Arthur hissed, dragging Alfred away before anyone could address the crucial flaw present there about what day it actually was. "I can leave you 'lone for ten minutes," He grumbled, "without you trying to mess with the s'periors, can I?" The two of them went back to Arthur's cubicle, "Okay, wha's your next bloody prank?"

At this point, Vash, the head of accounting, swaggered by with a scowl on his face, "Hey!" He barked, "Either you seen my ledgers? I need to get the final figures in before four, and--hey!" He shoved Arthur to the side and picked up a small stack of ledgers from off Arthur's own desk. The Swiss flipped through one, then glared at Arthur. "This's mine." He snapped. "You stole my ledgers!" His hand went into his jacket; The Brit froze, thinking he'd pull out a gun until Alfred shouted:

"April Fools!" Vash paused and looked to Alfred.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Look," Arthur intervened, "You've got your ledgers, why don't you just go?" Vash thought for a minute, then glared at both of them, before nodding and heading back in the direction he'd come from. Arthur sighed heavily in relief.

"You want to help me?" Alfred asked, relaxing once Vash was out of sight. Arthur sighed deeply again, then nodded. "Great! I've got some stuff in my office you'll need."

---  
"This's fuckin' mad." Arthur snarled, holding up the green dress Alfred had handed him. "'M not prancin' 'round in a dress."

"C'mon, Arty," Alfred pleaded, fishing make up out of the bag in his hands before flinging a padded brassiere at the Englishman who started to blush, "I can't do this one without you." He looked at Arthur with wide, blue, puppy dog eyes. "Please."

"Alright, fine!" Arthur snapped, gathering up a few cosmetic items and heading for the door.

"Wait," Alfred called, holding up a pair of emerald high heeled shoes, "These too." If looks could kill, he would have been dead a thousand times over as Arthur seized the shoes and stalked off with a string of muttered expletives.

---  
"Hey, Francis," Alfred said, hovering at the entrance of his cubicle.

"Oui?" The Frenchman replied in an annoyed tone, turning from the onscreen keyboard he had running while trying to type his end of the quarter evaluation.

"Look, I just wanted to apologize for this morning," Alfred said, scratching the back of his head, "I've got something for you."

"Eez eet a new keeyboard?" Francis bit, crossing his arms.

"Oh, I think it's better than that," Alfred pulled Arthur to stand by his side. With the shoes, the Englishman was almost as tall as Alfred, green eyeshadow went all the way up to his eyebrows which Alfred had attempted to pluck until Arthur punched him, absurdly red lipstick accentuated his frowning lips and Alfred pinched his bare back until he put on a fake sultry smile. "This is Brittany." One would have to be either an idiot or horny to think this was actually a woman. Unfortunately for Arthur, Francis was a little bit of the former and _always_ the later.

"Ah, bonjour, cherie," He purred, taking Arthur's hand and kissing it before making his way slowly up his arm. Arthur clenched his jaw, but kept his smile. He lifted one heel and dug in into Alfred's toes.

"Ow--ah, I'll let you too alone." Alfred chuckled before power walking back to his office.

---  
Alfred reached into his pocket as his cell phone rang, "What's up?" He chimed.

"Hello, Mister Jones," The exhausted voice of Eduard could be heard over the sounds of traffic in the background, "I've been to every office supply store in the city and I can't find a faxing, collating, scanning copier. I don't think they exist."

"That's because they don't." Alfred chuckled, "April Fools." Then he hung up and picked up the receiver of his desk phone.

"Human Resources, what the hell do you want, jackass?"

"Uh, yeah," Alfred muttered on the other end of the line, "Who exactly am I talking to?"

"I'm Lovino," A heavy Italian accent snapped back, "I'm Mister Carriendo's administrative assistant, idiot."

"Oh, you're his new secretary?" Alfred smiled; he could hear a faint grinding on the other end of the line, it sounded like teeth.

"I'm not a secretary, you bastard!"

"Heh heh, okay then," Alfred replied, bringing the phone back to his ear from where it had at arm's length away, "You're just the one I wanted to talk to. You're Feliciano's brother, right?"

"Yeah," The voice softened and almost sounded concerned, "Something wrong with him?"

"Well," Alfred muttered as though he was telling a secret, "I'm not sure how to tell you this, but, you know Ludwig in advertising?"

"That bastard?" Lovino shouted; Alfred could hear something that he assumed was a fist pound on something else he assumed was a desk. "I hate him!"

"Oh, well, _that bastard_ is sleeping with your brother." A loud thud came over the phone as Lovino dropped the receiver, then came a faint string of Italian obscenities and something about having someone whacked.

Lovino stormed away from his desk, shouting, "I'll fucking kill him!" At this point, Antinio poked his head out of his office.

"Where are you going?" He called after his 'administrative assistant.'

"On my break!" came a faint reply from down the hall. Antinio looked at the phone lying on the desk with muffled laughter coming from it. He picked it up.

"Hola, who is this?"

Alfred stopped laughing when he realized that someone had picked up the phone on the other end. He promptly hung up. Antonio looked at the dial tone emitting receiver in his hand before placing his back on the hook.

---  
"I fucking hate you!" Arthur barked, barging into Alfred's office with his dress ripped and the straps sliding down his shoulders. Alfred keeled over in a whole new fit of laughter. Arthur glanced to his hand on the phone, "What'd you do now?"

"I-I told," He breathed deeply, "I told Lovino that Ludwig was sleeping with his brother." He resumed laughing as Arthur blanched.

"You fucking idiot," He breathed, trying to piece together the consequences of this in his head, "D'you know who Lovino _is_?"

"Yeah, he's Antinio's secretary."

"No, moron!" Arthur slammed his hands down on Alfred's desk, "He's the C.E.O.'s grandson!" Alfred stopped laughing. "And Ludwig's the C.F.O.'s." Alfred looked to his hand on the phone.

"Oh my God," He muttered.

"Today's not even April fucking Fools!" Alfred raised his head to look at Arthur, "It's the thirty first, you bloddy, sodding wanker!" With that, Arthur stormed out, little green dress, high heels, and all.

---

At the end of the day, Alfred went to Arthur's cubicle; he was already gone. "Hey, Francis," He asked over the wall, "Where'd Arthur go?"

"_Britanee_," The Frenchman snapped back as he shut down his computer, "went 'ome an 'our ago."

Alfred found Matthew standing by the car, waiting for him; "Where's Arthur?" He asked, opening the door when Alfred unlocked the car.

"He went home early." Alfred murmured, throwing his jacket in the backseat and missing the loud expletives the Briton usually uttered whenever he got covered by Alfred's coat.

On the way back to their apartment, Alfred pulled over in front of Arthur's building, "Be right back," He muttered.

Knocking on Arthur's door, he could hear faint calling of "Jus' a minute." He smiled sheepishly to the scowling man who greeted him with faded lipstick and eyeshadow. "What the hell d'you want?"

"I just wanted to thank you for playing along today." He grinned before sobering up, "And say that I'm sorry.

"'M no' the one y'should be 'pologizing to." He crossed his arms and leaned on the door frame.

"I guess you're right." Alfred muttered, looking down.

"D'you want that dress back?" Arthur asked, "I mended it for you."

"No, you keep it." He sighed, "I'll see you tomorrow."

---  
The next morning, as Alfred was tying his tie, Matthew shouted from the other room, "Oh jeez, Al, someone burned down our office."

"That's not very funny, Matt." He called back, "I'm not playing jokes anymore."

"No, I'm serious, it's not the news and everything."

Alfred hustled from his bedroom, rapidly undoing his tie and saw _Breaking News_ footage with flames shooting out of the windows of the Globocorp building.

"Guess we're not going in today." He chuckled.


End file.
